For Men

So, the woman in your life just said three important words to you. No, not “I Love You…”, “I am pregnant.” I bet you never knew that those three individual words could carry such an impact when combined with one another. Unplanned pregnancy can leave you feeling overwhelmed and full of questions in a matter of just a few seconds. Keep in mind that no matter how you feel in that moment, the scariest thing for her might have been telling you. She might be scared about what you think, or she doesn’t care all that much what you have to say. Either way, she needs your support right now on what to do next. What she needs first is the validation that she can take some time to process everything that is happening with this unexpected news. There have already been so many changes that have taken place in her physically, emotionally, and even mentally. If she has chosen to include you in this, it means that your opinion and support matters to her. If you are unsure what she needs next, just ask her! More important than anything else, communication with her must be clear and at the top of your priority list.
Maybe what you are looking for right now is support for yourself, or maybe even ways to help you support her. We understand that this situation can arise from a vast amount of different situations. Maybe she is your high school sweetheart. Or maybe she’s the girl you met at the bar a few weeks ago and never thought you’d see again. Wherever it is you might find yourself, we are here to support and help you, so that you may support and help her. We understand and we care for you too.

Right now, here are a few things you can do to help both of you through this:

  • The emotions you are feeling in this moment are completely normal. She is scared, you are scared, and neither of you know what to do – that is OK. Take a moment and process your emotions the way you need to, but be sure to communicate with her as calmly and as honestly as you can. Being on the same page is a great place to start before taking your next step.
  • Make sure you talk about it with her. The next several weeks are going to be filled with strong emotions and uncertainty. Taking time to discuss options openly will help both you and her determine what is best for the two of you together. This is a decision that will affect the both of you; you need to be clear about what you are comfortable with while also listening to what she is comfortable with.
  • Take time and think about this. This is not the time to make quick decisions. Every time the two of you talk, take a beat and process everything that was said. Doing this will provide clarity in a way that hasty decision making will not.
  • Even with all that you are feeling, we know she is feeling it so much more deeply. Make sure you listen to what she has to say and to take into consideration every thought and opinion she has. Her body is literally changing with every passing moment, so the one piece of consistency you can give her is the gift of listening and stability.

Both of you will have time to gather your own information and do your own research. However, a decision will have to be made and it is best to hopefully make that decision together. It is important for you to be a part of that decision. You need to make sure that you are comfortable and OK with any final decision of parenting, adoption, or abortion. You might find it less difficult if you go to someone and discuss this with a trusted client advocate. At the Pregnancy Resource Center, we can provide answers to the thousands of questions rushing around in your head. NO matter the final decision, we want to be here for both you and her, providing honest information and compassionate care every step of the way.